If he'd already asked me, and if I knew that I was to be married in a few weeks or months, I think I could wait. But I just don't know when my marriage will happen. And because sex is on my mind all the time, I seem to see sex everywhere.Perhaps it was a mistake going to the Christmas party, because what I saw and heard there last night just made me want to give in to my boyfriend right away.So much so that I have telephoned him this morning - I couldn't help it. I hope he doesn't think I'm a cheap girl, offering up my puki to him. But I really want to see him again and let him lead me gently towards having sex with him. Even if I'm still nervous of letting go, I seem to be led onwards all the time. I just don't seem to be in control of myself any more....I keep thinking of the couple at the party who were doing it in one of the cubicles in the ladies toilet. I could hear the door banging, and I was excited by the sheer wildness of it. I just stood there listening to their eager. " We aren't dating yet," she interjected."No, I know, but if we do start, I feel you are just the sort of woman Iwould like to date," I tried to explain but felt I was getting to deeptoo fast. "Unless you like throwing puppies and kittens out in the cold,then I can't handle that."She had started to sip at her coffee and now she spit it back into thecup. "Where did that come from?" I don't know." I laughed a bit. "I just felt I was getting to intenseand needed to lighten the mood a bit." OK," she wiped at her chin.We talked for an hour about a bunch of things. We were able to talk onany subject, even when we disagreed we were able to expound our ideaswithout getting heated. It was quite special."I think I need to be going." Terri gathered her things together. "I'mglad we had this chance to meet up." Me, too." I was disappointed. It sounded like she was shutting thingsdown and I thought we were doing well.We walked out the door and I escorted her to her car."I'd really like to go out.
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